Reverse Gotcha Calls

A Gotcha Call is the name adopted by radio station FOX for a prank call. Usually a prank call is initiated by the prankster, however if an annoying person calls you up an opportunity exists to play a little prank on them. I term this a reverse gotcha call.

It is not difficult to guess which type of callers are most likely to fall prey to a reverse gotcha call -- the telemarketing people, of course. Lately a lot of calls are marketing for mobile phone plans. Here are some ideas to extract entertainment value out of an otherwise disruptive call:

• After the initial greeting, immediately start a stopwatch and stop talking to the phone even if the salesman asks a question. See how long they keep talking before realising no one cares and hangs up.
• A variation of the first one. See how long you can keep them engaged before they realise you are just wasting their time. Only do this if you are very free.
  
• If they offer a new phone with the plan, insist they give you an Apple iPhone or you don't want it. Applicable to countries where the iPhone is not available, which at the moment is everywhere except the U.S. (I did this once already but the caller didn't seem to know what an iPhone is.)
• Insist they give you better or more freebies, like a free trip or petrol voucher. Tell them the last marketing call you got offered those items. Then start demanding more and more unrealistic things like a Barbie doll house, a brand new BMW, an Airbus A380, and finally (if you get this far) a pollution-spewing nuclear power plant in Springfield.
  
• If the caller is from India, which is quite likely these days, put on Indian Thriller or some other Indian music. Then hold the phone up to the speakers or just crank up the volume. Look for a reaction on the other end.

A last option, conceived out of frustration at the salesperson hanging up as soon as they found out they won't get a sale, is to return in kind: replace your phone onto its cradle (or charging dock) as soon as you have identified the caller as a telemarketer. See how quickly you can do this without hanging up on the wrong person such as your parents or boyfriend/girlfriend.