The Boring Old Life

After a mere 22 odd years of living in cities, I am thoroughly tire of it. To me, an average day would involve working, eating, followed by some entertainment. This daily routine is so repetitive and uninteresting that I can no longer get any excitement out of it. While I will continue to work, eat and play in order to survive, I don't think I really care if I'm doing job A or job B, eating Pizza or KFC, watching TV or surfing the net for news, and so on. There is the feeling that none of these things can add to my experience in a substantial way, regardless of the choices. Thus I am becoming less particular about my choices.

One of the most obvious changes is my diet -- I simply don't care too much what I eat, as long as it's not too unhealthy. Next is my career ambition. As of late, a new possibility, namely working the financial sector, had opened up and I can no longer be sure I will be an engineer after graduating from uni. The ambiguity arises because I can no longer say one field interests me more than the other, which is to say I am interested in neither one.

This mentality opens up a can of worms. If I have no desires, should I still work so hard? If there's nothing more to get out of this life, is there a reason to still be breathing? I hesitate to declare I am tired of living, as that would be dangerous, and in any case I am not there yet. There is still hope, and reasons to live -- I just have to find it.

One thing I would really like to do is to escape the city, or what known to most of us as civilisation. I need to get away to some place where the inhabitants are not concerned daily with money, career and paying bills. And if that means parting with security, technology and luxuries then so be it. I'm not saying I'll like this for sure, but I'm willing to give it a try.

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If you think this post is confusing, it's because I am not sure where I'm headed. A lot of thought is going through my mind right now. I can see many possibilities. The problem is not whether or how I can achieve any of these, but which one I want to pursue. The above is a snapshot of my mindset now, but it is perhaps just the tip of an iceberg.