Loosing My Mind…

This probably falls under the Rants category…

Why do everyone write “loose” when they really mean “lose”? It seems like only people who write for a living (authors, newspaper/magazine editors, etc.) know about the word “lose”. I can’t even recall the last time I saw someone using “lose” correctly in a comment. Probably never.

Argh!

Here are some definitions from Dictionary.com:

loose

–verb (used with object)
20. to let loose; free from bonds or restraint.
21. to release, as from constraint, obligation, or penalty.

–verb (used without object)
27. to let go a hold.
28. to hoist anchor; get under way.

Source URL

lose

–verb (used with object)
1. to come to be without (something in one's possession or care), through accident, theft, etc., so that there is little or no prospect of recovery: I'm sure I've merely misplaced my hat, not lost it.
2. to fail inadvertently to retain (something) in such a way that it cannot be immediately recovered: I just lost a dime under this sofa.
3. to suffer the deprivation of: to lose one's job; to lose one's life.

–verb (used without object)
23. to suffer loss: to lose on a contract.
24. to suffer defeat or fail to win, as in a contest, race, or game: We played well, but we lost.

Source URL

Maybe future spellcheckers should flag every instances of “loose” and “loosing” as errors, and politely ask the user “Do you mean ‘lose’ (‘losing’)?”

Lose that o!

Bittersweet

You can cry when you are sad.
You can cry when you are happy.

But when you are hit with both at the same time
Crying becomes confusing.

Your emotions are being pulled
in two opposite directions.
Yet they arrive at the same result – tears.

Maybe it’s easier to treat them as one combined feeling
No! Just ignore their meanings
the events that gave rise to the feelings
And let them overwhelming me
Take me over

And cry my eyes out

Trip to the Airport

Today I am picking up dad from the airport, so I checked Google Map for the route. (I already knew how to get there; just wanted to confirm the little details.) Here is what they showed me:

Highlights of the (proposed) journey

Step 42: 5404 km

Step 103: 6243 km

Step 119: 4436 km

Looks like dad will have to wait at the airport for some time…

PS: Apparently our airport is called Melbourne International Terminal, although putting Australia at the end also does the trick.

The Well

Walled in on all sides
The only way out is up

I tried to climb the rough walls
But every time I slipped
Or lost my balance
Or my arms got tired
Or my fingers lost their grips from pain

And I gave up

Then I thought about the man
Who saved us all
Betrayal
Humiliation
Pain
Death
He endured it all

I must follow his way
Ignore the aching muscles
Ignore the sore arms
Ignore the bleeding fingers

Up I climbed

War and Peace

Today I borrowed War and Peace from the library. I don’t know if I can get through all 1359 pages of it before it’s due in three weeks time, but the one-week trip to Sydney should give me more free time to read.

That’s my way of challenging myself.

Trip to the Beach

It seems that for Australians, 40-plus degree days are the new 30-pluses. And what better way to escape the heat than throwing myself into cool sea water?

The beach itself is very hot. The sand can literally burn your feet. The occasional hot breeze is a hair dryer pointed at my face. The beach is one giant oven.

The sea is another story altogether. It remains at a cool 20-something. Waves rushs towards me at quasi-regular intervals, pushing me back, as if knocking me down into the salty water is their goal.

The sea is made up of patches of warm and cold water. One minute the water is nice and warm (but not too hot), the next it is freezing cold, sending me off to find a warmer region. 

After a while the water soaks up my body heat and I begin to feel cold. As soon as I lift my upper body out of the water though, my back turns quite hot from the sun's radiation. Eventually, it becomes a dilemma -- hot sun or cold water?

It occurred to me that life is a bit like that. There is no such thing as a perfect situation. Every situation has its drawbacks. The decision to make is which set of problems you would rather face.

The waves themselves inspired another analogy. Life throws a lot of obstacles at you. If care is not taken, even the tiniest of them can knock you off your feet. Strategically positioning yourself can minimise that risk, but there is always that 3 metre wave you can do nothing about but brace for impact -- and some salty aftertaste. 

The patches of warm and cold water generate yet another idea. In life standing still is not an option, because everything around you is moving. You must constantly be on the move, adapting to changes.

It just happened that the lodge I was staying had an attached swimming pool. The pool has no waves. It does not make sand stick to your skin. It even has steps to let you sit in the water. It seems to be the perfect choice.

How does the pool fit into the life analogy? I wondered. Then I found the answer.

The pool is Heaven. You only get to use it after leaving the beach that is Life.

The Hard Way

I feel stupid sometimes. Why do I have to do things the hard way? By taking the difficult route, I end up taking on more risks. I'm supposed to be a risk-averse person!

It wouldn't have been a problem if this is about some RPG video games. You can always start over the game so risk-taking is almost preferred. No, this isn't a game. My future, my career, my life. They are not a game. 

I take shortcuts in a game. In fact I would research then exploit these shortcuts to the fullest extent. But when it comes to reality, I refuse to exploit shortcuts. I turn down things that are "too easy". I go for the risky path. 

Why? How is it that someone who demands nothing less than perfection, who is only satisfied when he has absolute dominance in a game, deliberately makes perfection hard to achieve in real life?

I was going to say I knew the answer to my behaviour. That I seek out challenges to make my life more interesting. This may or may not be the right answer. Meanwhile, a tiny voice deep inside my head tells me my actions are a form of torture.

I don't know why I need to torture myself, because clearly I am not enjoying it. Perhaps I did it to "remind" myself I am alive, just like you pinch yourself to make sure you are not dreaming?

Not surprisingly writing about it doesn't get me any closer to the answers. It's okay, I don't expect to get any. I just want to vent it out. All I know is that knowing what I am doing 

Document Or Live?

Technology is Great, but Are We Forgetting to Live?

This article validated what I have been doing unconsciously all these years. On any given trip there was a feeling that I could have taken more pictures. I almost felt guilty for allowing the "big moments" of my life slip by without recording them for future reference. Well, turns out I had done the best thing with these "moments" -- I lived them.

For me there is always the danger of going into extremes. Hopefully this article will not prompt me to stop recording things altogether. Rather, I will learn to make better decisions about when to take pictures and to put down the camera.

CD Album Info

Today I dug up an old CD, I Don't Want To Miss A Thing by Aerosmith. The case it came in was previously stuck and wouldn't open, but today I managed to fix it. Having taken the CD out of the case I decided to give it a play on my laptop.

So I fired up Windows Media Player 11 and out of curiosity tried to retrieve the album info online. Usually I can't get the album info because I mostly own Chinese CDs. I thought this time would be successful because the CD is English and popular. Wrong.

WMP11 found the album alright, but its record showed only 3 tracks instead of 4 (track 2 was missing). Even WMP tells me my CD has 4 tracks, but it presents to me an album with just 3. How stupid is this?

After mucking around in WMP a little longer, I found the correct album in one of the last search results. It had 4 tracks! Except it had no album art. And the year was wrong (1989 instead of 1998, probably a typo).

So today I found out what crappy software/service MS was producing, especially since this tiny CD ripper will get the correct info first try, without any clicking or choosing the right album from a list.