Shitty Days

Last Thursday and Friday were two of the worst days of my life. Unpleasant things happen all the time but seldom did so many bad events descend on me in just 48 hours. I thought I was going to give a description of the happenings in those two days but I think I'll spare you the extra reading and myself the extra typing because this is not the main theme of this entry. Just take it from me that it is really really bad.

The point is when all of that had passed and I was walking to the train station from uni, I was contemplating how to write this post, when I suddenly realised I had been going through events in the past 48 hours, analysing them and recollecting all the little details, yet none of that triggered any frustration or sad feelings that one would expect to feel on such a shitty day. It was as if the victim was another guy and I was merely an observer. And having realised that I still didn't feel bad so I knew I didn't "forget" to feel sad. In other words I was quite numb to these undesirable events. There were only indifference, apathy and boredom. It is possible that the sadness is still inside me waiting to be released, but so far I am not sensing any. Maybe all that economics training does have an effect on me: what you can't change does not matter any more, so don't base your decisions on them.